A lot of things have happened since my last post, which is
to be expected as my last post was a few months ago (sorry!)
1. I finished college and collected my results; 2 C’s
and a double distinction* a result my Nan described as ‘well, at least it’s something’
the grades were in those very marketable and essential subjects of; performing
arts, media and English Lit and Lang.
2. Achieved the impossible and bought a dress and a
necklace from Topshop for under £10?!
3 Bought the new vaccines and two door cinema club
albums (both very good)
4 In April my aunt was diagnosed with lung cancer,
she was 38 and had never smoked. The cancer then spread to her lungs, she was
given chemo but was told it would never go. Later she was given a year to 18
months, which meant she would be able to celebrate her birthday and Christmas with
her family one last time, although that thought made the whole family
angry/upset/scared she was positive and happy ‘hey, it’s not like it’s a couple
of months is it’ she smiled. A couple of weeks later the cancer spread again and
continued to invaide her body eventually infecting her bones and spinal cord
the year to 18 months changed to 6 weeks.
She then started to get mind-numbing headaches, the doctors had said it had
spread, again, to the lining of the brain, 6 weeks was turned into two. She died
on the 17th August. My Nan (her mum) my uncle (her husband) my cousins
(her son’s) and my mum (her sister) were obviously devastated and annoyed and
sick.
Her life has made me think about my own, I found
out she went to festivals regularly, had paraglided, base jumped, white water
rafted, abseiled, travelled to; Thailand, New York, Cuba, and a bunch of other
countries, got married in an ice hotel in Sweden. Rocked an orange fur coat and
Dr Martens in the 90’s. Walked down the Uni halls in just her towel (she had
just showed and her future husband noticed her.) she had an absolutely fantastic
life which I can only hope to replicate and has made me realise how unpredictable
life is and to not waste days or be too scared to do something. I have been
incredibly shy my whole life and I do not want to waste any more of it being
scared/lonely/depressed because I was frightened of the consequences that would
come if I done anything. Now I’m not going to worry or count calories or stand
still at a party because I can’t dance. I’m going to let go and be free and
happy (sorry for the cheese!) and, hopefully, blog more!
